Today my command was to be cleansed by the word. I decided to do this literally: I prayed while I was in the shower, cleaned three rooms of the house and did a "paper purge" - where you remove extraneous paper i.e. old bills, junk mail and scribbled notes from the house. Physically, I was clean.
Also in my mind and body I am clean: I do not drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex and I try to not do or use anything that alters my mind or my state of consciousness. This includes the above right down to more mundane things like not taking painkillers or any other medicine unless absolutely necessary. For example, if I get a headache at seven in the evening, I'll wait and use sleep as my remedy. I know that the above things can add to life but I believe they take more away; this is just my personal opinion. Even so, I still try and stay away from places where I would be tempted to preach or give in to my desires for these things.
So am I clean in my soul? Today at Church this was challenged. I know Jesus is my redeemer and has forgiven me for my past sins, and I know this in my mind. I cannot forgive my own sins however. I am a harsher judge of myself than the Lord. I believe this is what helps me learn from my mistakes and improve myself however. One day, I may forgive myself on my past sins but until then I am just happy that Jesus can do that for me until I'm ready to.
On my goals from yesterday, I did clean the house from top to bottom this morning. I tried at Church to converse more but we'll see how that develops this evening. As for the noise tonight, we'll have to wait and see.
My goals for tomorrow are:
- To be punctual for my office work at my church
- To start work on my dissertation as soon as I possibly can (my first meeting is tomorrow)
- To spend at least 30 minutes tidying the house; today in an hour I cleaned three rooms, tomorrow I need to see if the same resolve to be cleansed can yield the same results
God Bless,
Lizzie x
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